Planning the Finances of Your Relationship in 2020

Finances are  important to your relationship as well as any other aspect of your life. We won’t even argue about this.

A seasoned  relationship mentor will tell you that relationships are capital intensive. Read that twice. What this means is for your love life to thrive, you have got to throw some pennies into the love pond. This is why I never understand relationhips where one or both couple are stingy.

Love thrives where there is giving. But, what happens when cheerful giving starts to become outright financial recklessness, a breeding ground for entitlement mentality and ultimately ends in one or both partners feeling taken for granted?
Planning the economics of your relationship in 2020 will help you know when to spend, sit tight or speak up about your finances.

Money Talks: Discussing Your Finances in a Relationship

Recently on Twitter, an influencer tweeted about how he invited another popular influencer on a date and instead of the “intelligent questions” he had expected her to ask, she was busy asking him how much he earned in a year.

If it was on a first date, well that was too forward. If however, it was after multiple dates and in the middle of a discussion about finances and productivity, then as improper as it sounds, it would have been the question of the year if said in a polite way.
Excuse my ignorance…but why strive to be grammatically correct in a discussion where only the numbers count?!

I am eternally astonished to find that few intending couples sit to discuss their finances. I once watched a video by Creflo Dollar where he talked about certain key questions you should ask the love of your life.

Does your dad beat your mama?
Does your mama beat your dad?
Are you in debt?
Was your father before you in debt?
How financially reckless are you?

There are men who find spending money therapeutic. When they are angry, they spend money; when they are happy, they spend money; if you annoy them, they spend; if you ignore them, they will still spend. Their default state of rest is “Spend that money!”

On the other hand, I know of sisters whose gospel is “Spend his money.” They sit and do nothing all day but expect a man to shoulder every financial burden that concerns them. From makeup to marriage, the man waters the relationship with his hard earned quids.
This is madness. You are placing undue pressure on the delicate rope that ties you to the love of your life and you are very well probably on your way to exiting that relationship.

But Ene I Want to Spoil My Man

Sit down sis!
I’m not against you ‘spoiling’ your man. But take a good look at yourself dear, now take an even closer look at your head. Do you like what is inside your head?

You didn’t even say, “I want to help my man.” Sis, a good man will never allow you spoil him at the expense of your personal development.
I am honestly not advocating for you to become a monkey that holds on to a banana come what may. I’m asking you to be realistic and responsible in your spending. Heck! Allow him reciprocate. Not every time “No darling, I got this.”

So When Should I Spend On My Man?

Well, since you insist on thrashing this out here, there is no one- size -fits -all rule for spending on your man. No matter how well off he is financially, there are times when you’ll have to be financially romantic. Here are some exceptional reasons you should rain cash on him.
1. Spend when you can afford to without going overboard, borrowing or breaking the bank.

2. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and any other significant days that hold special meaning to him.

3. Randomly surprise him with acts of kindness and thoughtful gifts (randomly).

4. Help out when he is in a financial fix. And keep your mouth shut while at it.

5. If he’s got a mum, siblings or a dear friend (not talking about all those female besties please), occasionally send thoughtful gifts to strengthen your bond with them.

6. Take him out. Yes ma! You will not die.

7. “Sow a seed” into his life if you honour him and admire something in his life you wish you had.

Money Questions You Must Have the Courage to Ask

As a romantic economist, it is my duty to point out that you and Bae owe it to yourself to move to a higher utility curve. It is also expedient that you have that discussion about money mindsets. It starts with some serious questions:
1. What do you want financially? – Clarity
2. Why do you want it? – Motivation
3. How can you go about executing this money goal? – Strategy
4. What do you have to help you achieve this money goal? – Capacity
5. When do you want to do it? – Time frame
6. Who can can help you bring the trophy home? – Advantageous Relationships

The Economics of Loving in 2020

Money (its absence or presence) puts a strain or a certain flexibility on the delicate balance of your relationship.
If only one person takes the lion share of financial responsibilities, sooner or later, they are going to either snap out of the economic reverie, call it quits or become grumpy and sour.
Personally, I like the idea of knowing I have money I can use to throw in a little surprise for my man while I take care of my basic needs, give when the need arises or save without shooting myself in the leg.

And trust me, your man will feel better when he knows he spends on you because he wants to not because he has to. Please get your act together in 2020 and begin to ask yourself what you can do to make some money. You can start small and scale up.

Getting Your Financial Game Going in 2020

Few years ago, my friend, Rot and I read the Smart Money Woman by Arese Ugwu and we decided to sit our asses down and think about our financial future. One of the greatest blessings you can have as a woman is to have friends who are financially intelligent and working towards financial freedom.

Ask yourself these questions I asked myself before I decided to build capacity in the area of writing:
1. What am I confident and competent at?
2. What skill or niche in my area of competence can I thrive at?
3. Who can mentor each me to become better at it?
4. Can I build a community of followers around it by offering value?
5. Can I sell it and if yes, how much sales would I need to bring home that money goal?

Books To Financially Motivate You

Sometimes, we all need a rude shake to get up and act. I recommend these 4 books if you really want to understand how urgent this money talk is and how integrally part of a better future it is for you.

1. Smart Money Woman by Arese Ugwu
2. The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay
3. 15 Laws of Invaluable Growth by John C. Maxwell
4. The Business of Life by Elisha Mamman

Or visit www.koinoniadownloads.org and download these three messages on finances, financial freedom and preparing for wealth:

1. As a Man Thinketh
2. The Power of Productivity
3. Success Systems

Bonus: Download 19 Powerful Minutes that Can Change Your Life by Earl Nightingale and you’ll never remain the same.

To Love Exceptionally, You Must Give

Birthdays will come, anniversaries will always repeat themselves, emergencies may arise and then there is always the need to show how much you love your significant other. Giving remains one of the highest forms of expressing love and affection.

If you don’t plan your financial future, I’m sorry to say, you’re going to have a hard time showing how much you love them. Maybe not now, but in the future, definitely. It’s not wrong if you plan your finances like no man will give you a dime. It’s called responsibility.

If you’re in a long distance relationship, you have to read this post twice because it takes twice as much effort to maintain an LDR than it does for non-LDR. How do you intend to love on a budget if you don’t have the funds to budget with to begin with?
It’s Day 6 of 2020…you have 358 days to plan the economics of your relationship in 2020.