Starting a Relationship: Who Should Be Your Relationship Mentors and Why You Need Them

By Faustina

Falling in love is a beautiful thing, and a dream come true for many. However, meeting the right person is not enough to sustain your love or make it successful. Having the right mentors guide you through life’s challenges is one of the greatest gift you can ever have.

Starting a relationship is a beautiful beginning which should be treasured, laid on a solid foundation and built to last. As you prepare to start or enter a relationship, one of the factors that make for a successful relationship is having the right relationship mentors.

Before you begin that life-long relationship with that super awesome dude or drop-dead gorgeous babe, before you begin that courtship with MR. RIGHT or start dating WIFEY, here are some relationship mentors you should have.

1. Successfully married people:

Having a successful marriage is not a myth and successfully married people are not perfect people; they are individuals committed to making their marriage work regardless of challenges, obstacles and what have you.

Why You Need Them: From the dating days to courtship and finally marriage, they have successfully passed every relationship phase your potential relationship is about to venture through. The wealth of knowledge and experience they have will save you from years of pain and unnecessary heartache.

P.S: Your mentor should be a reference that is close to home. As much as you want Michelle Obama to mentor you, except you have unrivaled and unhindered access to her, please look for someone you can easily access.

2. Divorced People/ Broken Relationships: Going through a divorce or breakup is very devastating for all parties involved regardless of who is to blame; however, the better part of the process is healing from all the hurt and pain and learning from your experience.

Why You Need Them:

Before you enter this “SHIP “and sail away to Foreverland never to return, it’s best to get advice not only from successfully married people but also from divorcees and couples who are apart.

However, the caveat is they have to have successfully healed, acknowledged their faults and are willing to share experiences that will only help you avoid shipwrecks, weather stormy seas and ride the tides safely to your destination: A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP.

P.S: “Happily ever after” is not a myth.

3. Relationship counsellors: Counsellors help individuals and families deal with difficult emotions, mental health disorders and trauma by providing therapy and coaching to help their patients manage stress, redirecting disturbing emotions and set goals for themselves.

The beauty of counselling is that they have the privilege to hear all sides of the story from the parties involved and proffer solutions from their wealth of experience and knowledge acquired.

Why You Need Them: A counsellor has subject matter expertise and “the advantage of statistical and analytical data from their wealth of experience and based on this can offer possible predictions on how your relationship will go based on the factors and circumstances governing the personalities involved.”

A popular Nigerian adage says, “What an elder sees while sitting under a tree, a young person may not see it while at the top of the tree”. Get counsel from a certified expert today. Your counselor may also be your pastor or certified relationship coach.

4. God: Depending on your and religious affiliation tendencies, no amount of experience can substitute the counsel of God. For me, I rely on the Holy Spirit for God’s opinion on all matters including the ones for the heart.

Why You Need God: Whatever GOD says about your life is the most important counsel, advice or mentorship you can ever get. Who knows them better than The One who created them?  You can pray and seek His counsel on your intended. Better to be right with God and be wrong with men.

5. Other Happy Relationships: Couples who are yet to get married but are in a serious and lovable relationship can be sources of inspiration, strength and encouragement to your relationship too.

Why You Need Them: It is important for you to associate with the right kind of people. If you keep a circle of people who have dysfunctional relationships or whose relationships repeatedly head for the rocks, yours will eventually hit the iceberg too.

It’s very possible to have the best of relationships on earth. Starting, building and sustaining that perfect relationship with that perfect person is not magic, it’s a process. Amongst other things, let your process be complete with the help of mentors and the right mentorship.

Sharing is caring…who are your mentors? Share with us in the comment box!