What Love Is Not: Halves and Fractions

By Ene Elizabeth Adeka

Uncontrolled

Uncontainded,

Your love is a fire

Burning bright for me…

-Steffany Gretzinger (Pieces)

This early morning piece was inspired by Bethel Music’s “Pieces.” I have heard that song like a million times but I had never really sat to meditate on the lyrics until today. I realized today how much that one song explains so many relationship struggles.

The song actually talks about the love of God; the unbending, unfailing and unmistaken love God has for us. Truth is if you don’t understand how He loves, you are going to end up hurting a lot of people because you will love them in your own way the wrong way. Follow me as I analyze my favourite lines from the song.

1. Love is not a fraction

There is a poem that I saw online, I can’t remember where but it says,

You keep giving me halves of you

And I keep telling you I don’t do fractions.

If you cannot go all out for the person you are in love with, baby you are not in love, you are in an interview. Love is the one thing that you cannot afford to give out in bits and pieces. You will not only feel robbed, you will ultimately rob another of the love and affection they deserve.

2. Love is not a troubled mind

Every love story has its own unique difficulties and problems. Don’t ever think the perfect love story is devoid of challenges; we all have our crazy moments. However, if you are in love and have lost sleep and that peace of mind associated with this beautiful feeling, you need to take a step back and analyze the situation.

This may sound like a paradox but love is a peaceful whirlwind. If everything on the outside has to go haywire before you realize you are in trouble and not in love, you already are in trouble.

3. Love is not anxious

You don’t wonder where God is, He’s either with you or you are not with Him. At every point of your walk with Him, you are sure of His whereabouts.

If you find yourself wondering where they are, what they might be doing or who they are doing what you think they might be doing with, darling your mind is anxious. You do not only have doubts, your trust in them is questionable and under attack.

Address it and address it fast!

4. Love is not reckless

Forget the adrenaline rush and the cocktail of adventure-inspiring hormones coursing through your system, making you feel light headed. In love, we are all mother hens.

Don’t touch my man, don’t talk about my man, and don’t bring any negative energy around my woman are a few of the sentences we can use to ward off unhealthy souls.

No calculus or rocket science, it’s that simple. He won’t ask for unprotected sex and she won’t make you break the bank just to throw a big birthday party for her.

When we come right down to it, the one who loves you will go out of their way to protect and keep you out of harm’s way. They can go as far as protecting you from themselves if need be.

5. Love is not passive

Love is assertive…if the unreserved show of emotions and passion in your relationship is unbalanced, resentment can start to build up. If you feel your love affair is passive, there is more than a 50 percent chance that it is headed for the rocks.

This usually happens when one or both of you feel like an add-on and extra luggage to the other person, you have given up on the things you care about, you have a busy schedule, you are simply being paranoid or you do not want to listen to your gut feeling: THEY DON’T LIKE YOU.

I leave you with this; the loved is usually aware that they are loved. If you have to second-guess their feelings towards you, y’all need to call for a round table discussion.

6. Love is not disengaged

Do you have unfinished conversations online and offline with your partner, feel like you are dating yourself, are physically close but emotionally distant from them? There are two things involved.

Either you have neglected investing in yourself and now depend on your significant other to provide all the knowledge, fun and entertainment needed to sustain your relationship or you truly are drifting apart.

Love is engaging and seeks to always be involved…your interests might not be their interests and vice-versa. However, if you love them you will go out of your way to learn about what makes them tick.

7. Love keeps to its promises

He keeps pushing off that once-in-a-year holiday or she always gives you silly excuses for why she could not show up for your date nights?

Red flag, baby! It is ok to occasionally break promises, nobody is perfect and we do not live in an ideal world. If however, they have to wait for you to point out their broken promises before they offer an apology, you need to address that straight up.

8. Love is not insecure

There is a reason why you ought to be busy before a man finds you. This is especially for my ladies. If you do not have a life interests, values and principles that you live by before he arrives, it would be difficult for you to be around a man who already has a life carved out for himself and not feel like an ant.

That is how this thing works, babe. Let me also say that it is your job in a relationship to always reinforce your commitments and make your partner understand that in your kingdom, they are a big deal.

9. Love is not selfish

You should do to your partner what you secretly wish they do for you. Sometimes, the key to getting what you want is to do same for another person.

Doing this gives them a window into your heart and helps them know how to love you better. You both have a love language and until you learn how to speak it, you will keep feeding your partners poison. Take the love language test by Dr. Gary Chapman here to better learn how to love your partner.

10. Love honours what’s sacred

If you cannot tell your partner your challenges especially those concerning the opposite sex, you are already on your way to being unfaithful.

Let me borrow this saying from a wise man, “No conversation should be considered too improper to not discuss with your partner .” If you wake up and find yourself enjoying someone else’s company or feel distant from them, you owe it to your partner to bring it to their notice. Check out our article on conversations you should have with your partner here

I’ll wrap this up by saying everything requires hard work, from drinking a glass of water building a lasting relationship. In love, you are like the entrepreneur that never rests until he gets his return on investments. Thank you Steffany for that beautiful song, you can download “Pieces” by Steffany Gretzinger here

What are your takes on this article? We would like to hear your valuable opinions. Sharing is caring…say hello in the comment box and faya on!